I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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