fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
