i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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