If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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