erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
