Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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