why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
