I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The best revenge is premature balding
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
vagina is talking i cant
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
