I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
