Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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