It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
