Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
