ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
