She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
