And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
