Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
