Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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