You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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