so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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