i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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