pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
