yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize