the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
