That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
