I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
