hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
