i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
