Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
