so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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