Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
