It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found puke in my bra..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize