Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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