I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
