so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
