Even water is tasting like jack daniels
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
