Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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