So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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