Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
