my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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