I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
