sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize