And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
