We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
is that a dick in a sweater?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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