I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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