You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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