OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
