He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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