Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
