that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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