Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
