So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
