I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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