she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize