My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
