he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
