theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
