is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't make out with my wife yet
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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