Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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