i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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